Over the past several weeks the word humility has been swimming in my head. The sermon at church a few weeks ago was about humility. Humility is defined as being humble or one’s own thought of being important. Or even the amount of pride you might show.
I like to think of myself as being a humble person. I don’t like to shove my successes into other people’s faces or talk about my accomplishments much. For the most part, I feel I am humble.
I feel that I am a good teacher and I reach as many students as I can when I am in contact with them. On the other hand, as an author and a presenter, I also believe that I do my best. That isn’t me bragging, that’s just me being confident in what I do. I am also proud of what I do. Plain and simple, I love helping other people, especially teachers. If I have ever appeared to act otherwise, it isn’t done on purpose. Collaborating and working with other like-minded professionals is where it is at for me.
Unfortunately, there is still a struggle within me that I don’t let others see and it is me dealing with pride and humility. There is a deep desire within me to continue to be as successful as possible. I want the emails, the phone calls, and the guest blog posts. Yes, that part shows my lack of humility. What keeps me somewhat grounded is thinking about the costs which comes to the other parts of my life. More importantly, my own kids and the students in my classroom suffer as I try to better myself in a professional manner. I start to wonder if it is worth it and why does it matter. I also wonder at times why I don’t get more phone calls or requests to speak. After all, I am published and know what I am talking about. It’s a constant battle in my head and I am starting to become irritated.
Lately, I have set my sights not on what I can do for others or gaining glory, but more on making my students successful. No more worrying about the emails or phone calls. What happens…happens. I recently posted on Facebook that it was time to step-up my game and I meant it. I have been focusing on setting-up a new class website, researching digital tools that help my students be successful both in and out of the classroom, and studying more science curriculum as I begin my 2nd year as a science teacher.
I am refusing to let the battle rage on inside me. What is important is that I work hard for my students every day and not worry about things I can’t control. I will be thankful for the opportunities when they come my way and not let that part of my career control who I am. Today, I am more humble.